I’ve decided that writing is like splatter-painting. There’s a mildly desperate attempt to line the paint splats up in some semblance of order, in hopes that someone can make sense of the movement of the color blobs.
I love splatter-painting, and prefer the messy, chaotic, spontaneous, colorful form of this expression.
And I’ve decided that on one hand, writing is the same; it is chaotic and messy, and trying to bring order to the splats of color in my mind is nerve-wrenching. But on the other hand, there is beauty in all of this: words organically fizz off my finger-tips, and even if they don’t make sense, it’s about the act of spontaneously throwing them out there… with hopes that somewhere, somehow, someone will catch them.
So, I’d like to make a toast: here’s to those moments of spontaneously splatter-painted words, in hopes that they mean something to you.
I’m always baffled by the way God works; it’s so easy to chalk-it-up to “God and His mysterious ways.” That’s the truth, yes. But sometimes I think He would rather us dig into what His mysterious ways just might be communicating to us.
I’m currently in a strange place, in that regard. Since I’ve been back in the USA (a quick 4-weeks), I’ve had 2 job opportunities fall in my lap. A huge lesson I’ve learned in the past 2 years is that it is God who promotes. And yes, I must take action… but out of obedience, not out of a desire to control, not out of fear or insecurity. Because I believe that God is the initiator, and as long as I seek Him, all else will fall in place.
“But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” ~ Matthew 6:33
This does not give me permission to be sloppy with the way that I spend my days, but it does give me permission to TRUST that He has it all under control.
And right now, the lesson I’m learning is that He has planted dreams deep into the soil of my heart, and He will be the one to bring harvest. He’s teaching me that we can do things my way, or we can do things His way. And well ultimately I know that His ways are better than good; they are BEST.
And so I wait. And I seek Him. And I write. Because these are the things burning in my heart.
Clumsily I write. My fingers dancing on the keys, but it’s no ordinary dance. It’s more like a girl clumsily stepping on the toes of her swift & fluid dance partner, trying to keep pace with his lead.
And though I stumble, I still write.
I write because I am compelled. I write because the mistress of reflection demands it.
I write because my Creator put words in my heart; oh wait, more… my Creator put a melody in my heart, a tune in my lungs, a volcano of praise within me. And in order to glorify His Name, I must put pen to paper. Fingers to keys. To bring what’s within… out.
As you read this may you be inspired, refreshed, renewed… may you see that through the bumbling of a 31-year old single, who has a penchant for wild colors, bold tastes, & an unquenched curiosity for cultures… One who has called 5 countries on 4 continents home in the past 10 years & one who is addicted to adventure, speaking in accents, & following the voice of God into the unknowns of life…
May you see that God is always at work… somehow, in some way, somewhere.
Welcome to this, my sojourner’s journey on this wild-ride of a life.