I had this moment today where my deepest desire scooted its way to the surface of my heart. All I want is to sit face-to-face with my friends from all the far-off places I’ve lived and learned, and watch as they paint facial expressions with their emotions. I want to listen as they share with me their day-to-day struggles… their joys, their pains. So that I can laugh and cry and celebrate and ponder with them.
Though it’s cliché to say that friendship is something special, something to be held closely, something to be beyond grateful for… I have remembered today that it absolutely IS. I cannot imagine how empty I would feel without my community of friends around the world. And as I contemplate my life… about what I should be doing, or where I should be doing it, I realize all too quickly that none of that matters. What matters is that I have people in my life to do life with. In my case, that may be from distant lands… but nonetheless, I don’t for one second take for granted any friendship in my life. I receive them all humbly as precious gifts from God.
So if you are my friend and you are reading this, THANK YOU. I’ll make my best effort to visit you (yea! that means future trips across the USA, Switzerland, England, South Africa, and Australia to be precise!) to have that cup of tea I’m craving, so that we can pick-up just where we left off.
Sometimes I wonder what life would taste like if I couldn’t actually taste anything. I guess I mean that literally, yes, but more importantly, metaphorically.
As I reflect upon the varied and broad experiences of my life, whether jumping off a 40-foot cliff into an angry glacial river in Switzerland, or surfing alongside playful seals in South Africa, or following a wild koala through Australian beach brush… I realize that I have tasted a great deal of life. Taste is such an intricate sense… when you physically taste something, it’s because it’s activated the taste buds on your tongue.
And as odd and crazy as it sounds, metaphorical taste activates my ‘aliveness’ buds. Sometimes I can get so inside my thoughts, that I forget to take a breather from the world that is spinning and popping in my head. But when I do, I desperately crave the exotic and varied, unexpected and sometimes shocking tastes of life.
And that is one of the most (super)natural things in this world…
Because I believe that God created us to enjoy this life; to take pleasure in His creation… because we are His creation and He takes pleasure in us.
Now, who’s craving a certain taste? I know I am. Peanut butter in a spoon, anyone?
I’m always baffled by the way God works; it’s so easy to chalk-it-up to “God and His mysterious ways.” That’s the truth, yes. But sometimes I think He would rather us dig into what His mysterious ways just might be communicating to us.
I’m currently in a strange place, in that regard. Since I’ve been back in the USA (a quick 4-weeks), I’ve had 2 job opportunities fall in my lap. A huge lesson I’ve learned in the past 2 years is that it is God who promotes. And yes, I must take action… but out of obedience, not out of a desire to control, not out of fear or insecurity. Because I believe that God is the initiator, and as long as I seek Him, all else will fall in place.
“But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” ~ Matthew 6:33
This does not give me permission to be sloppy with the way that I spend my days, but it does give me permission to TRUST that He has it all under control.
And right now, the lesson I’m learning is that He has planted dreams deep into the soil of my heart, and He will be the one to bring harvest. He’s teaching me that we can do things my way, or we can do things His way. And well ultimately I know that His ways are better than good; they are BEST.
And so I wait. And I seek Him. And I write. Because these are the things burning in my heart.
I’m sure there are thousands of blogs, articles, and books published about the difficulty of starting the creative process.
To me, it’s like frantically spinning a back tire on a mud-stuck sedan, digging deeper into the mud, all the while not getting anywhere.
And it shocks me that I can be sitting under the blue umbrella skies of creation, encircled by green mountain pops, serenaded by the clack-clack-clack calls of chipmunks and squawking melodies of hawks, and yet… remain uninspired.
But here’s my confession: as a creative-type, I know my biggest enemy to inspiration is the own battle in my mind. The sword pointed at my belly that screeches, “how could you possibly say anything that is worthwhile? What do you have to bring to the table? And how in the world do you think you can organize the millions of thoughts that constantly explode in your head like fizzing Pop Rocks?”
To this I say… SHUT-UP. I will not allow my sense of overwhelmed-ness to halt the passion in my fingers. And besides, in writing this, I’m one step closer to winning the battle. 🙂
Clumsily I write. My fingers dancing on the keys, but it’s no ordinary dance. It’s more like a girl clumsily stepping on the toes of her swift & fluid dance partner, trying to keep pace with his lead.
And though I stumble, I still write.
I write because I am compelled. I write because the mistress of reflection demands it.
I write because my Creator put words in my heart; oh wait, more… my Creator put a melody in my heart, a tune in my lungs, a volcano of praise within me. And in order to glorify His Name, I must put pen to paper. Fingers to keys. To bring what’s within… out.
As you read this may you be inspired, refreshed, renewed… may you see that through the bumbling of a 31-year old single, who has a penchant for wild colors, bold tastes, & an unquenched curiosity for cultures… One who has called 5 countries on 4 continents home in the past 10 years & one who is addicted to adventure, speaking in accents, & following the voice of God into the unknowns of life…
May you see that God is always at work… somehow, in some way, somewhere.
Welcome to this, my sojourner’s journey on this wild-ride of a life.